Red Hot Pimp Roadkill Superbowl XLVIII Rundown

Never before in the history of the NFL has there been a stranger Superbowl, EVER.  The obvious omen to set off this chain of events was hands-down Joe Namath’s Roadkill Pimp mink coat!  Now I realize it is part of what this guy is known for, to wear loud coats, but this was just too much!  I was really rooting for the poor guy, seriously.  I wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes as I stared at the man in his fluffy-wuffy fashionista attire, rooting for the old man.  I said aloud to Michael, “Maybe he can pull this moment off with the coin toss and look somewhat dashing and “chic” in a ridonkulous, eccentric sort of way.”   No sooner had I uttered the words and stifled my laughter when suddenly from no where, this star quarterback with 12 years’ NFL playing experience tosses the coin TOO EARLY and confuses everyone, saved by the referee.  Relive the moment with me, please.  It’s totally worth it.

 

*Sighs.*  Poor guy.  Absolute fail.  And this isn’t the only time he’s tried to bring a big show to add to his “legacy” only to cause millions of onlookers to face-palm and moan, but we’ll stick to the game.

Little did I know this little event was the first link in the chain reaction of strangeness that was to trail along for the rest of the event.  Discussing the quarter-by quarter rundown of the game is redundant.  It’s already all over the web.  But I do have one question:  Did the Broncos even bother to prepare?  Honestly, I think they would have done better if they had stood on the field and picked each others’ noses than to have displayed that debacle of…whatever that was!

I love to root for the underdog, and since I have nothing invested in either team, I figured I would root for the Broncs.  And who with a heart couldn’t pity the poor guys after that  early snap ended up in the end zone?  I mean…really?  Wow.  Skip ahead to the end of the 2nd, and  though I knew in my heart of hearts it wasn’t going to change, I still remained optimistic.  This was the Super Bowl after all, and something had to get exciting!  I felt bored and totally UN-entertained.  No excitement.

First half over, and time for the halftime show!  I was curious to see how these guys worked together!

How do you blend Bruno Mars with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Although the strangeness of the match-up was fitting right in with the weird theme of the game, I was still curious to see how it would play out. So, do I think he did it?  Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…uh! Totally awesome show!  He brought his game face, and entertained with a LIVE voice…great show!  I LOVED the James Brown Dancing and drum solo.  And when the Chilli Peppers came on, you knew the song was building to it, and they came on playing my favorite song!  Woot! It was so great.  And they didn’t even bother to Try to blend.  They kept their own style, yet pulled it off.  The only disappointment for me was that Flea didn’t get at least 10 seconds of solo camera time.  I totally love that dude.

And the commercials?  I would say they were unremarkable if they weren’t so disappointing.  NONE of them were Super Bowl material.  For most, if they weren’t dumb, then they were totally NOT funny.  I’d rather have watched Joe Namath walk around with his dead muppet coat for entertainment than the commercials.  Sheesh.  If I had to pick, I would have to say that Budweiser had the best batting average, but   Coca-cola had a commercial that I liked best. I’ll link it at the end of this blog, which is coming soon, dear readers!

After the great halftime show,  I was carrying a little optimism.  Maybe the Broncos would come back…maybe the commercials would get better.  Anything is possible,  right?  So, the kick-off starts the game, Percy Harvin catches the ball, and he runs the ball 87 yards for a touchdown.  And that was it for me.  I was too angry to be deflated.  Seriously.  That was just embarrassing.  I refused to pity them any more.  They just were NOT playing football.  So, I picked up my hook and started to crochet.  The true roadkill wasn’t the muppet fluffy-wuffy pimp coat, it was the Denver Broncos.

The rest of the game, they say, is history.  The only moment of glory for the Broncos was one touchdown followed by a successful two-point conversion.  If they’d wanted to win as badly as they wanted to avoid a shut-out, they may have won.  Who knows.

I loved the “puppy” Budweiser commercial, but I don’t recall it being played until AFTER the game.  But, here is my favorite.  I think the majority of you will see why.  Total awesomeness.  I hope they run this one all year.

http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/43869434/1124297/

http://isayoui.wordpress.com/2014/02/03/theres-this-event-called-the-super-bowl/

http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/62450641/29/

http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/54859530/4505/

http://newamericangospel.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/worstdecision14/

Ta-ta for now!  When next I return, I promise some crochet magic!

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Holiday Adorbes!

Fashionably late, Goddess style, I present to you….”The Holiday Family Extraordinaire!”  I had such a wonderful holiday season full of family and loved ones, and I must say that in love, we are wealthy indeed!  Although timing for Thanksgiving pictures didn’t work out, Christmas did, and I am so happy!  My  daughter and Michael’s son work so hard and such terrible hours that it is tough for us to all get together, but it finally did, and here are just a few of the pictures.  There was a LOT of hilarity during the holidays, too, but this is par for the course ’round these here parts!  And of course, I am going to share!  But first let’s look at some pictures, mang!

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My daughter has done a LOT of driving over the past few weeks just to spend time with her mommy, and although we didn’t have the time for “modeling pictures” over Thanksgiving, or Christmas we managed to barely squeeze in the time for New Year’s.  So, we snapped up what we could, and I’ll be posting the FOTH’s for that in a day or two.

Mom and Dad visited our house several times during the holidays.  I must admit it is such a bittersweet moment for me that they have retired and are about to spend their time traveling.  I am spoiled to their presence, and have mild panic attacks when I haven’t had my “fix”.  They have always been such a huge part of my life, and now I have to set them free to enjoy their lives during their Golden Years.  *sighs*.  It is such an awesome thing, but I’d be a liar to say it doesn’t also make me sad!  But let’s get to the freakin’ meat of this blog post already!!!!

Highlights in our family are always best remembered when they are comical and/or awkward.  Sure, we spend our “family time” with love and affection, but it is the comical craziness that we have in our family that sets us apart from the rest, and here is a list of just a few!

On Thanksgiving, it is my son’s responsibility to set up the turkey for its journey in the cooker.  He slept in, so I did it.  I put the apple in the turkey to bake the entire time instead of the last half hour, and our Turkey Presentation on the table was with a mushy green mess inside it!  No problem, we devoured it anyway, and it was goooo-oood!

For Christmas, I taught my daughter our traditional way of cooking authentic “Lasagna Italiano”.  We have lasagna on Christmas.  My mother is Italian, so it is only natural, after all!  We spent all day working on the secret sauce, carefully and beautifully built our lasagna, and finally, after hours of work, and dozens of times smacking the back of hands of the boys “testing”….the lasagna went into the oven!  The aroma was so lovely filling the house, and everyone eagerly awaited the arrival of our lasagna.  My daughter’s boyfriend was down, and she was particularly excited and proud to present to him what a GREAT thing we would have to eat!

Finally it was time to pull out the lasagna.  I went to the oven, and realized in absolute horror that the oven display was reading what I can only describe as alien writing!  I opened the oven door, and after one look at the lasagna, my mouth took over.  A long series of incredibly unattractive words flew from my mouth, and the entire household dashed into the kitchen.  Everyone began to cough and gasp as black smoke-filled the kitchen, and I dashed to the windows and doors, now cursing about the smell and possibly having to clean the walls on Christmas!

The oven had gone into broil mode somehow, and the top of the lasagna was completely black!  Tears welled up in my eyes as I stammered and stuttered about not understanding what happened, and the rest of the family held their breath, not knowing what to say or what to do.  Everyone stared at our long-awaited meal in disappointed exasperation as I fought back tears.  I ruined dinner, and we were all starving!  Where on earth would we find food on Christmas Day?  My head was spinning and my daughter grabbed my hand and kissed it while my son patted my back and hugged my neck.

The alien writing on the display turned to Chinese writing as our noses took in the awful stench of cleaner.  The oven went into clean mode, and we couldn’t get it to turn off!  We were stuck riding out the experience whether we liked it or not.

Then my darling Michael cut into the lasagna and tried a piece of it without any prompting, determined to find a way to “save the moment”.  As soon as he did, everyone else did as well, and much to our surprise and relief, it was still good!  I swear it was!  The burned cheese was just a crispy layer and didn’t have much of a taste, and easily scraped away if we wanted to.  However, we ate the cheese.  We thought it was good!  And we laughed and laughed, reliving the moment together…”It was so funny when…”  “Oh, man, did you see when…”  We had so much fun!  And dessert was awesome.

New Year’s Eve was exciting, too.  (New Year’s and the 4th of July are my FAVORITE holidays of the year!)  My daughter worked, so as soon as she got off work, she and the boyfriend drove up to the house, barely making it.  My son and I were texting her as we all waited by the champagne and watching the clock.  She arrived at 11:45 p.m. with surprise fireworks, and those bottle-popper things that shoot confetti.  My mischievous teenage son was just dying to mess with one.  We had all just threatened him within an inch of his life to wait when…

POWWWWWWWAAAAHHHHH!  I am talkin’ a huge poppin’ bang from nowhere, filled the room and caused my daughter and I to jump 6 feet from the ground.  “I didn’t do it!!’  My son yelled, holding up his hands.

“It was the champagne bottle.”  Said Michael.  Everyone started to ask him what the heck he did that for when he finally managed to get us to understand that it happened on autopilot (JUST LIKE THE OVEN on Christmas!)  We all laughed and teased one another about our reactions when we realized that ACK!!!!!  2 minutes to midnight, hurry, hurry!  Pour the champagne, stand together and get ready to toast!  And midnight came, and my daughter got her first New Year’s Kiss ever with her boyfriend, and I got to cuddle and hug with my famly and feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing I’d kick off the year with the ones I love.

So you’ve made it to the end of another long Goddess post!  *Pats you on the back*  Way to go!  And thanks for sticking it out with me, and giving me the fun experience of sharing some family tidbits with you.  You are soooo Awesome Blossom!  XOXOXO

Macho Man Deveristility Reversible Hat and Cowl Set!

Oh goodness, where on earth did I go?  Life got busy for me!  Whooosh!  And didn’t slow down for the holidays, yet I managed to come up with a new pattern while crocheting up some gifts!

All crocheters feel it at this time I suppose…sore, stiff fingers, aching arms, a heavy head from looking down so long, ugh!  But it is worth it, is it not, for the ones you love?

And behold!  Some of the manly gifts I made for the holidays as eye candy, before the pièce de ré·sistance!

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That dashing macho manliness of a model would be my son, posing in all his coveted football player glory! Not sure why, but he refused to model the “girly” stuff.  Oh, well, you want to see my pattern, anyway…I’ll post more Fresh-off-the-hooks later!

I would like to thank my wonderful pattern testers!  Especially since this was my first pattern, they were taking on more than usual, and I am so very grateful to them.  Please check them out on Ravelry.  I will include links to their profiles of awesomeness below.

If you’d like to download and print a .pdf file of this pattern, you can do so on my pattern page at Ravelry. Just click below!

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/mens-reversible-hat-and-cowl-set

And now if you will be SO kind as to imagine a drum roll, I present to you….my first pattern!!!!

Men’s Reversible Hat and Cowl Set

Contrasting Color done with Lion Brand Homespun.

Contrasting Color done with Lion Brand Homespun.

Dakota's xmas

Closeup of pattern, both sides, using Red Heart Super Saver

01-beginner

Copyright:  All I ask, if you sell your work, is to link your selling page to my blog.  You may NOT sell this pattern or claim it as your own!

My blog link:  https://thecrochetgoddessblog.wordpress.com/

Etsy:  TheCrochetGoddess

Ravelry:  TheCrochetGoddess   Check me out here

Stitches Used:  Double crochet, single crochet, and crab stitch (a.k.a. reverse single crochet).  Crab stitch directions are included in the pattern. Gauge:  3 rounds of hat = 3 ½”
Materials:Hook Size:  I (5.50 MM)Yarn Weight:  Worsted, 10 ply (Brand I used is Red Heart Super Saver) and trim in 1st picture is Lion Brand HomespunTapestry needle to weave in endsScissors Terms:ch:  chainsc:  single crochetdc:  double crochet(RS):  Right side of pattern.(WS): Wrong side of pattern.MC:  Main Color

 


Special Stitch:  Crab Stitch (A.K.A. Reverse Single Crochet) 
  1. 1.        Insert hook from front to back, into the 1st stitch to the right.
  2. 2.       Yarn over (yo) and draw through the stitch.  You will have two loops on your hook, just as you would with a normal sc.
  3. 3.       Yarn over and draw through both loops on your hook.
  4. 4.       Repeat these steps for each stitch in the row.

 

Hat Pattern

Do NOT count your ch 2 as a stitch in this pattern.  I prefer to do a “step up” before the 1st initial stitch in order to fill the gap that is created with many hats with patterns that call for a chain and joining at the top of the chain in each round.

You will land on an increase at the end of each increase round in this hat pattern.

I prefer using a magic ring; this keeps the top of the hat closed without gaps at the top.  However, if you do not like to use magic rings, then chain 3 and join with sl st into 3rd ch from hook.

Round 1:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into ring 10 times.  Join with sl st into 1st dc. (10 st.)

Round 2:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join 2 times, 2 dc in ea. st. around, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (20 st.)

Round 3:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join, *2 dc in next dc, dc in next dc, repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (30 st.)

Round 4: (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join, dc into next dc, *2 dc in next dc, 1 dc in next 2 dc’s.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (40 st.)

Round 5:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join, dc into ea. of the next 2 dc, *2 dc in next dc, 1 dc in next 3 dc’s.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (50 st.)

Round 6:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join, dc into ea. of the next 3 dc, *2 dc in next dc, 1 dc in next 4 dc’s.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (60 st.)

Round 7:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join, dc into ea. of the next 4 dc, *2 dc in next dc, 1 dc in next 5 dc’s.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (70 st.) Note:  Increase rounds stop here.  Each following round will have a total of 70 stitches.

Round 8:  (RS) Ch 2.  DC into same st as join, *dc into next dc.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  (70 st.)

Round 9: (RS) Repeat round 8.  (70 st.)

Round 10: (RS) Repeat round 8.  (70 st.)  For a larger hat, repeat round 8 for two more rounds.

Round 11:  (RS) Repeat Round 8.  Change to CC at ending sl st to prepare for round 12.  (70 st)

Round 12: (RS) With CC, ch 1.  SC into same st as join, *sc into next dc.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st sc.  Change back to MC.  (70 st.)

Round 13: (WS) TURN WORK.  FLIP HAT WRONG SIDE OUT, You are now working with the WS.  With MC, ch 2.  DC into same st as join, *dc into next sc in BLO.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  Change back to CC.  (70 st.)  flip hat back to normal, turn.

Round 14: (RS) TURN WORK. FLIP HAT RIGHT SIDE OUT, You are now working with the RS again.  With CC, ch 1.  SC into same st as join, *sc into next dc.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st sc.  Change back to MC.  (70 st.)

Round 15: (WS) TURN WORK.   FLIP HAT WRONG SIDE OUT.  With MC, ch 2.  DC into same st as join, *dc into next dc in BLO.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st dc.  Change back to CC.  (70 st.)

Round 16:  (RS) FLIP HAT RIGHT SIDE OUT.  DO NOT TURN.  With CC, ch 1.  SC into same st as join, *sc into next dc.  Repeat from * to last dc, join with sl st into 1st sc.  Finish off and weave in ends, or follow trim step below for trim option.

Trim:

After joining with sl st at the end of round 16, keep CC and ch 1.  Crab stitch into ea. sc around to end; join with sl st into 1st sc.  Finish off and weave in ends.

Cowl Pattern:

Be sure to make your foundation chain a little looser than normal.  This will make it easier for you to join your CC for the trim along the bottom in Round 14.

With MC:  Ch 80 LOOSELY, join.

Round 1:  (RS) With MC, ch 3.  *DC into next st.  Repeat from * to last st. Join with sl st at top of ch -3 taking care not to twist.

Round 2:  (RS) Change to CC.  Ch 1.  *SC into next st.  Repeat from * to last st.  Join with sl st at top of ch-1.

Round 3:  (WS) TURN WORK.  FLIP COWL WRONG SIDE OUT.   You are now working with the wrong side facing. Change to MC, Ch 3.  *DC into next st in BLO.  Repeat from * to last st.  Join with sl st at top of ch-3.

Round 4: (RS) TURN WORK.  FLIP COWL RIGHT SIDE OUT.  You are now working with the right side facing.  Change to CC, ch 1.  *sc into next st.  Repeat from * to last st.  Join with sl st at top of ch -1.

Round 5: (WS) TURN WORK.  FLIP COWL WRONG SIDE OUT.  Change to MC, ch 3.  *DC into next st in BLO.  Repeat from * to last st.  Join with sl st at top of ch- 3.

Round 6:  (RS) TURN WORK.  FLIP COWL RIGHT SIDE OUT.  Change to MC.  Ch 3.  *DC into next st.  Join with sl st into top of ch-3.

Round 7:  (RS) Ch 3.  *Dc into next st.  Repeat from * to last st.  Join with sl st into top of ch-3.

Round 8: (RS) Repeat round 7.  Please note:  for a bit of a shorter cowl, you may eliminate this row.

Round 9:  (RS) Repeat Round 2.

Round 10: (WS) Repeat Round 3.

Round 11: (RS) Repeat Round 4.

Round 12:  (WS) Repeat Round 5.

Round 13:  (RS) CC FLIP COWL RIGHT SIDE OUT AGAIN. DO NOT TURN.  *Sc into next st.  Repeat from * to last st, join into 1st sc.  Fasten off, or if you choose to use the trim, keep CC and ch 1, then crab stitch in each stitch across, join with sl st into ch-1.

Round 14: (RS) Flip cowl upside down and turn. DO NOT TURN INSIDE OUT.  With CC, pull up a loop.  *Sc into next st.  Repeat from * to last st, join into 1st sc at end of round.  You may finish off and weave ends in here, or if you are adding the trim, keep CC and ch 1, then crab stitch in each stitch across, join with sl st into ch-1, fasten off and weave in ends.

Special Thanks To My Pattern Testers!  They gave great input and suggestions, improving this first pattern of mine so much for outside users!  Couldn’t have done it without them:

Livelaughove381 on Ravelry

kamah on Ravelry

kamahskereations facebook page

Donnisha2 on Ravelry